Pet Grief

Back in 2019, I had to make the difficult decision of having our dog put to sleep. She was 16 years old. Our dog Cherry was a chocolate Labrador. She came to our home when she was 5 as a retired gun dog. She quickly fitted into our home. Cherry was part of our family for 9 years. We hardly had a day apart over the 9 years. We took UK holidays instead of going abroad as we didn’t like the idea of her staying in a kennel. She was the gentlest soul that I have ever met and gave unconditional love. 

Her last year was difficult, and it was hard seeing her struggle to walk, go to the toilet and to eat. We were then told in June 2019 that she had liver and kidney failure. The vets could not tell us how long she would have. Then on 23^rd September 2019 we woke to Cherry crying in pain and having a fit. She had lost the ability to pick up her back legs. We both agreed that this was the day that we would have to say goodbye. The vets came to our home and was so gentle with her. She peacefully passed away in her bed. 

But that is where my peace ended. I was totally heart broken. It felt like someone had ripped my heart out. I could not stop crying and felt a huge weight in my chest. I walked around in a daze. I kept getting flash backs of Cherry being carried out of the home by the vets. I would be racked with guilt, wondering did we do the right thing? The house seemed so empty and quiet without her. I felt restless and often went on long walks to clear my head. Seeing clients helped distract me and focus on their worlds and not have to think about my own. Bedtimes were the worse as I could no longer hear Cherry’s gentle snoring. 

Soon after Cherry had died, friends and family were asking if we will get another dog – like getting another dog would solve my grief. At the time, I could not bear the idea, so for 2020, we sponsor a dog instead for Guide Dogs for the Blind. This helped with some of my grief. It was not until Sept 2025, that an opportunity to adopt another chocolate labrador suddenly presented itself. I then realised I was ready to open my heart up to another dog. Kirby is a totally different personality to Cherry and it has taken some time to transition back into the responsibility of being dog parents again. 

So why am I writing about this on my counselling website? 

I wanted to write that grief takes many forms and we mourn in different ways. There are no wrong ways to grieve and no fixed time period either. However, there are times when it is a good to get some extra support. To have someone walk alongside you in your grief. As a bereavement counsellor, I have been a witness to how people mourn, and to give them permission to mourn and help celebrate the person or pet they deeply loved.